Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
