How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
