i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
