smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
