I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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