You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
