So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
