take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
