Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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