Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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