Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
