Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
