I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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