nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
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