The maid of honor just puked.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
how does that bad decision feel?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
