..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
and you fell through a lawn chair
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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