Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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