youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
