mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
