ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
