Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Everything about him screamed your future.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
