I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
