im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
