I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
