The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize