sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize