"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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