i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
