it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
