I want to make a zoo with you.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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