Don't make out with my wife yet
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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