piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
