I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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