I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you told grandpa to call you daddy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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