Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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