I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
