This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
