nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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