I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
