doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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