So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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