she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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