Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
