but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Randomize
