So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
