Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
