your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize