I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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