I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
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