Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
