he wants to bone in the snuggie
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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