spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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