Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
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