I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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