watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
