As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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