Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
