If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
A+ Viking dick
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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