Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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