I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
