Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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