Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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