no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
