its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
