I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize