Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
