I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
