He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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