Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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