Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
